Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)
Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
Dad: Fuck the government.
Dad: Fuck the school board.
Dad: Close the door.
Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
Dad: I love puns.
Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
Dad: Please shut up.
Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
Dad: They act like I care what they think.
Dad: I hate homework.
Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

gazzymouse:

beckpoppins:

meganhilty:

Anastasia

Favorite Characters - Vladimir & Sophie

god Sophia had a double chin and bingo wings and a booty like a shelf and she was still hot as fuck. and Anastasia was hot. and the empress was hot. All the ladies were pretty but totally different sizes and ages and things were wonderful.

Sophie wasn’t just on screen to be fat and funny. She was depicted as actually DESIRABLE. I was a little stick of a child when this movie came out and that definitely effected my views of beauty. As a much thicker adult it still means a lot to me now.

^ SO MUCH THIS

It made me SO happy to see a lady who wasn’t super skinny still being portrayed as being sexy and desirable…

We need more movies like this…with characters like this, who aren’t just treated like walking punchlines because of their bodies…

death-limes:

rosethouartsick:

Finally, eyeshadow for people who aren’t sissy girly babies who pee in their diapers.

"What color is your eyeshadow?"
"HURRGGH"

I’d use Gun Show and Fisticuffs everyday xD

death-limes:

rosethouartsick:

Finally, eyeshadow for people who aren’t sissy girly babies who pee in their diapers.

"What color is your eyeshadow?"

"HURRGGH"

I’d use Gun Show and Fisticuffs everyday xD

"But you don’t look si-"
spyderqueen:

alinatotheleft:

flexblr:

youknowimgood4it:

Taken from reddit but it can’t be stressed enough

Making fun of fat people at the gym is like making fun of sick people at the hospital.

"Lol wow you’re doing chemotherapy? Clearly you suck at it if you still have cancer."

This is too long.  I’d shorten it, something along the lines of WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ANYONE, ASSHOLE?

spyderqueen:

alinatotheleft:

flexblr:

youknowimgood4it:

Taken from reddit but it can’t be stressed enough

Making fun of fat people at the gym is like making fun of sick people at the hospital.

"Lol wow you’re doing chemotherapy? Clearly you suck at it if you still have cancer."

This is too long.  I’d shorten it, something along the lines of WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ANYONE, ASSHOLE?

jenniferlovely:

LOOK AT THIS SHIT… LOOK AT IT.

kefkafloyd:

Top: Natalie Chettle lifts her mother’s Maine coon cat Rupert over her head. Nearly three years old, Rupert is already three times bigger than the average domestic cat and is expected to gain another 5kg in the next few years… (source)

Bottom: …Giant moggy Rupert looks at a regular sized cat in Melbourne, Victoria. A three-time Cat of the Year and Australian National Champion, Rupert is the biggest Maine coon that cat judge Lesley Morgan Blythe has seen. (source)

Holy schniekes that’s a big cat

naamahdarling:

hauntedsticks:

freckledtrekkie:

becausesometimesdreamsdocometrue:

disney-tasthic:

gastalicious-definition:

disney-tasthic:

globalsoftpirka:

disney-tasthic:

thedisneydifference:

Mulan loved my Mulan pen!
She said, “I love things that have my face on it.”

Wow, Mulan, conceited much ;). Seems like you may have been spending some time with Gaston!

NOOOOOO OOOOOONESHOOTS LIKE MULAN

WEARS MEN’S SUITS LIKE MULAN!

THINKS FAST AND KICKS ASS ON A ROOF LIKE MULAN

MULAN: “I USE AVALANCHES IN ALL OF MY BATTLE SCHEMIIIING!”

NOT QUITE A GUY, THAT MULAN!

WHEN I WAS A GIRL I DRANK 3 CUPS OF TEAEVERY MORNING TO HELP ME GROW STRONG

NOW I’VE GROWN UP I DRINK FIVE CUPS OF TEAAND I DEFEATED THE KING OF THE HUUUUUUUNS

This is the best thing ever.

naamahdarling:

hauntedsticks:

freckledtrekkie:

becausesometimesdreamsdocometrue:

disney-tasthic:

gastalicious-definition:

disney-tasthic:

globalsoftpirka:

disney-tasthic:

thedisneydifference:

Mulan loved my Mulan pen!

She said, “I love things that have my face on it.”

Wow, Mulan, conceited much ;). Seems like you may have been spending some time with Gaston!

NOOOOOO OOOOOONE
SHOOTS LIKE MULAN

WEARS MEN’S SUITS LIKE MULAN!

THINKS FAST AND KICKS ASS ON A ROOF LIKE MULAN

MULAN: “I USE AVALANCHES IN ALL OF MY BATTLE SCHEMIIIING!”

NOT QUITE A GUY, THAT MULAN!

WHEN I WAS A GIRL I DRANK 3 CUPS OF TEA
EVERY MORNING TO HELP ME GROW STRONG

NOW I’VE GROWN UP I DRINK FIVE CUPS OF TEA
AND I DEFEATED THE KING OF THE HUUUUUUUNS

This is the best thing ever.

nomalez:

Alexandra as HELLGIRL ! <3

Ce genre de cosplay parfait! This kind of perfect cosplay!

Follow the tumblr of Alexandra to see all her costumes : http://peachpearl309.tumblr.com

Photos by S. Rain Lawrence: www.srainphotography.com / www.facebook.com/srainphotography

Links(follow): More Cosplay / Hellboy / Dark Horse

ruffiansonships:

This was the greatest moment ever.

veiledsentiments:

michaelshiatusbeard:

scarfshipping:

yours-truly-calliope:

This is a useful resource…

i’ll be the most creative murderer the world has ever seen

two types of people

#i can practically hear the hannibal fandom screaming hallelujah

veiledsentiments:

michaelshiatusbeard:

scarfshipping:

yours-truly-calliope:

This is a useful resource…

i’ll be the most creative murderer the world has ever seen

two types of people

#i can practically hear the hannibal fandom screaming hallelujah

ask-blueb100d-equius-zahhak:

(Sorry for the absence ;w; My final is done in a week then I’ll come back to update! Thank you my followers! ;w; Have a crappy fem!Equius cosplay of me if this crappy thing can be considered as a cosplay… T_T)